I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
