super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
