Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
