is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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