shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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