So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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