I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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