I can tuck mytits in my pants
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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