Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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