I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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