morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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