Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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