Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
nutella sex= disaster
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
