Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I am midnight drunk by noon
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
