Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
