I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
