I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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