At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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