I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I need moral support for this bender
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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