Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
accomplished twins. life is a go
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
