trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
