Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
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I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
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okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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