Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
