Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
