i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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