Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
