I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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