fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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