I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
