You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
