I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
