He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My liver just had a heart attack.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
