ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
