ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
