so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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