Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
