So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
