I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
