Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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