i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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