This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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