just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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