I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
