he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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