I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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