idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We're too hungover to prance.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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