We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize