Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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