at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
