Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize
