i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
