dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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