yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
