Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
