I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
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You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
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I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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