I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
