Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
