So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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