i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
