i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
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He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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