I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
