do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
